


Strange Visitors and Little Sisters

by Gay_as_fuck



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Rebuild of Evangelion | Evangelion: New Theatrical Edition
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Gen, Hospitals, me projecting onto a fictional character? more likely than you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9862043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_as_fuck/pseuds/Gay_as_fuck
Summary: Toji's first visit to see his little sister. Sometimes you just can't protect the people you love the most.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is weird and venty. Me? projecting into toji? more likely than you think. yeah this is shitty, just go with it.

Toji hated hospitals. He’d always hated them, ever since he was a child. Nothing good ever happened in a hospital and no one wanted to be there. The smell of antiseptic made his skin crawl and his head dizzy. If it were up to him he’d never go to another hospital for the rest of his life.

That was until the angels returned. There was a fight and for the next week the city smelled of blood and metal. He had spent the attack huddled in a bunker praying that his sister had made it to another one in time.

It wasn’t until later he learned that she hadn’t. He didn’t get to see her for a few days. The doctors told him that she might not survive the night. The told him she was dangerously hurt. She’d lost a lot of blood. They didn’t have the resources for the surgery she needed.

Toji wanted to scream ‘BULLSHIT’ at the doctors. They were in charge of saving people. It was up to them to make sure that his sister didn’t die, that no one died. He wanted to do so many childish things, yelling and crying and begging for them to help her.

He had been in charge of saving his sister and he had failed her. 

There were things he wanted to do. Punish himself. Kick and scream and try to make everything better. Run away and never look back.

Instead of doing any of those things he waited in the hospital waiting room and stared into nothingness. He waited for the doctors to tell him that he could see his sister.

It took three days, but he saw her. She was asleep when they let him in. The doctors put their hands on his shoulder and tried to console him but he wouldn’t take it. He shrugged them off when he wanted to turn and sock them in the face.

He didn’t though. He would endure the pity for his sister, all the sorry looks from people who couldn’t do their fucking jobs and make sure she was okay. He considered for a moment if he should be the one they punished for what happened to his sister. 

He sat in the hospital room and looked out the window. There were flowers blooming in the hospital yard. He didn’t know what kind they were but the small white blooms pissed him off. How dare anything seem normal when his world was so upside down.

He hoped they would at least comfort his sister. She loved flowers, perhaps because she was named after them. Sakura Suzuhara was not as bold or brash as her brother but she was a thousand times more powerful. She was clever and knowledgeable. 

A lover of logic puzzles and flowers she was nothing like her brother. She wasn’t weaker than him. Toji knew full well that even though his sister cried more it was a sign of strength. Growing up Toji had sworn to protect his sister no matter what happened.  
She could overcome pain whereas every sword that ever struck Toji stuck in his skin. He was covered in bandages where as she wore her scars proudly.

He tore his eyes from the window and looked at his sleeping sister. He wanted to protect her, it had been his job to protect her, and he had failed. He clenched his fist and tried to keep it from shaking with anger at everything. The doctors, the pilot, himself. 

Something in his sister’s breath hitched and he was suddenly hyper aware of everything she was doing. Her body was moving up and down with her breath which had been steady and simple. However her eyes were fluttering open.

“Sakura? I’m here”

Sakura took a few seconds to open her eyes completely and look up at Toji. He knew that something was wrong because her eyes were cloudy and confused.

“What happened?” She asked, moving her hand up to rub her head. She tried to sit up by pushing herself with her free arm. She got a few inches up before grimacing and flopping back into her former position. 

“There must a remote somewhere for the bed, could you find it for me please?” Toji nodded and kneeled down to look through the drawers of the bedside table. He found the remote rather quickly and handed it to Sakura.

“Thank you. Oh, i’m sorry I’ve forgotten to ask you name. I’m- oh that’s odd. I can’t remember my name.” She furrowed her eyebrows and stared deeply into her lap.

“Sakura Suzuhara, that’s your name. Do you know what happened to you? Should I call a nurse?” Toji told her, trying to contain his panic. His sister didn’t remember him, what if she never did.

“I thought you were a nurse, but i mean you don’t really look like one now that I think about it.” Sakura noted, surprisingly calm about her situation.

Toji had already hit the button to call the nurses when his sister had been talking. His hands were shaking but he was trying not to show it. Sakura didn’t say anything else in the minute it took for a nurse to arrive. 

A middle aged man in blue scrubs rushed into the room. Toji wanted to punch him but he knew that wouldn’t help anyone. Plus, it wasn’t the nurse’s fault Sakura was how she was.

“It’s my sister- she can’t remember who she is or what her name is”. The nurse’s face contorted in concern and he made his way over to Sakura’s bedside. She softly whispered the word “sister” to herself.  
“You’re my brother?” She asked Toji but didn’t get his answer due to the nurse. He turned to Toji and gave him a solemn nod.

“Could you please leave the room. I’ll call you back in later, though i can’t say when. We might have to run a few tests.”

Toji didn’t nod or acknowledge the nurse, he only walked out on shapely legs. He pressed his lips together like a vault door as not to scream and kept his hands balled up in shaking fists by his side as not to punch anything.

Once he was out of Sakura’s room he ran down the halls and out of the hospital until he was safe in the hospital gardens. He grabbed one of the white flowers he had seen from his sister’s window and crushed it in his fist.

He refused to scream or cry. Doing anything childish wouldn’t help, he had to be strong. That didn’t stop him from breaking down though. He turned and slammed his fist into the brick wall of the hospital. The pain in his knuckles felt like punishment for failing his sister. It felt good.

He pulled his hands back to his sides, partly because he didn’t want to make a scene. The main cause however was that his thoughts scared him. He gave a shaky breath and decided to go home. He could see his sister the next day and maybe she’d remember him.

He swore that he’d protect her even if she didn’t remember him. All he wanted to do was make her feel safe and happy. He promised himself that he’d punch the lights out of the kid in charge of protecting her as soon as he got the chance.


End file.
